For those of you who are new to my blog (since it's new, that'll be most of you ;) , Each day I'll write up generally what the dare for that day is, and what I hope to do. I'd love your prayer as you go through your day alongside! The next morning I will add a paragraph to the previous day's post, letting you know how it went. So remember to look at yesterday's post to see how it went!
Okay, so on to DAY THREE!!
Today we are discovering that we are all self-motivated. Funny, this was one of the top words I would have used to describe Ray a couple of days ago. *gulp* (That was me swallowing my pride, and my foot-lol). There is a list of questions to ask yourself, about who you are putting first, and one of them was "Does my spouse see me as looking out for myself first?" My back went up immediately. Because if I don't look out for me, who's going to? It's a minor sense of panic to shift my protective barrier and place it over Ray instead, because then I am completely unprotected against anything that comes my way. I hope that's making sense. This seems like such a little thing, but when I have felt neglected or unappreciated, I made up for it by not letting it matter to me. I simply protected myself first. For example, when my keys were missing, Ray's reaction was not what I wanted. I wanted him to say "Charlie, it's okay, either they'll turn up or we'll just pay the bill. I love you and in the end it doesn't matter. If we pay the bill and then you find the keys, then we'll have a spare set, and that'll be good too!" But when he found out that I'd lost them, I was already flustered. We were very low on money, and I'l been searching all day, and looking at options on how to get a new key. It was going to cost over 200 dollars! I cried to him and told him how much it was going to cost and how I'd been looking everywhere and how we just couldn't afford this. His reaction was to list a million places for me to look, most of which I'd already searched, and some where there was NO WAY the keys could ever be. This took place while I made dinner for the kids, etc. He also reminded me that this was the second set of keys that I'd lost in four years. Like I need that reminder. Anyway- maybe if I would have changed MY way of telling him, if I'd apologized for losing them, and for the extra expense, and taken a different, less-about-me-and-my-stress and more about his, he MAY have stepped in and reassured me, instead of berating. I could almost see him doing that. BUT that's where the risk comes in! IF I said those things, and he still 'attacked' me, I'd be so much more wounded than if I was already mad a stressed to begin with. At least that was MY choice and not his!
"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conciet, but with humilty of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves." -Phillipians 2:3
Todays dare reminds us that where we put our time, money and energy shows what is important to us. I am to buy Ray something today that will tell him I was thinking of him today.
God bless you all, thanks for listening!
Okay, so on to DAY THREE!!
Today we are discovering that we are all self-motivated. Funny, this was one of the top words I would have used to describe Ray a couple of days ago. *gulp* (That was me swallowing my pride, and my foot-lol). There is a list of questions to ask yourself, about who you are putting first, and one of them was "Does my spouse see me as looking out for myself first?" My back went up immediately. Because if I don't look out for me, who's going to? It's a minor sense of panic to shift my protective barrier and place it over Ray instead, because then I am completely unprotected against anything that comes my way. I hope that's making sense. This seems like such a little thing, but when I have felt neglected or unappreciated, I made up for it by not letting it matter to me. I simply protected myself first. For example, when my keys were missing, Ray's reaction was not what I wanted. I wanted him to say "Charlie, it's okay, either they'll turn up or we'll just pay the bill. I love you and in the end it doesn't matter. If we pay the bill and then you find the keys, then we'll have a spare set, and that'll be good too!" But when he found out that I'd lost them, I was already flustered. We were very low on money, and I'l been searching all day, and looking at options on how to get a new key. It was going to cost over 200 dollars! I cried to him and told him how much it was going to cost and how I'd been looking everywhere and how we just couldn't afford this. His reaction was to list a million places for me to look, most of which I'd already searched, and some where there was NO WAY the keys could ever be. This took place while I made dinner for the kids, etc. He also reminded me that this was the second set of keys that I'd lost in four years. Like I need that reminder. Anyway- maybe if I would have changed MY way of telling him, if I'd apologized for losing them, and for the extra expense, and taken a different, less-about-me-and-my-stress and more about his, he MAY have stepped in and reassured me, instead of berating. I could almost see him doing that. BUT that's where the risk comes in! IF I said those things, and he still 'attacked' me, I'd be so much more wounded than if I was already mad a stressed to begin with. At least that was MY choice and not his!
"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conciet, but with humilty of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves." -Phillipians 2:3
Todays dare reminds us that where we put our time, money and energy shows what is important to us. I am to buy Ray something today that will tell him I was thinking of him today.
God bless you all, thanks for listening!
~UPDATE~
So, honestly, today was a bit slow. I'm still working on my thoughts and trying to be careful with my words. You'd think it would be easy, but I've been in the habit and slipping in 'digs' here and there, to try and hint him along in changing. (Yah, nice, I know!). Today I surprised him with a Subway Sub, which is a huge treat for him, although I royally messed it up. For some reason (like I'm a terrible wife) I mind blanked on what he may NOT like on his sub and added some of those things! Lol! Surprisingly, he thanked me and ate the whole thing without a complaint. Even later when he was asked about it, we were able to laugh as he said it was 'the most interesting combination of flavours' he'd ever had on a sub. ;P So, it wasn't a total flop, anyway.
So, honestly, today was a bit slow. I'm still working on my thoughts and trying to be careful with my words. You'd think it would be easy, but I've been in the habit and slipping in 'digs' here and there, to try and hint him along in changing. (Yah, nice, I know!). Today I surprised him with a Subway Sub, which is a huge treat for him, although I royally messed it up. For some reason (like I'm a terrible wife) I mind blanked on what he may NOT like on his sub and added some of those things! Lol! Surprisingly, he thanked me and ate the whole thing without a complaint. Even later when he was asked about it, we were able to laugh as he said it was 'the most interesting combination of flavours' he'd ever had on a sub. ;P So, it wasn't a total flop, anyway.
I'm so thankful you are doing this as it's teaching me so much about my own relationship with my husband. Praying through this journey with you!
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